Talk
by BigG1999
Summary: Callie and Arizona try to have a talk about the cheating. (Angst/Fluff/Smut/RealShit).
1. Chapter 1

***Note* Leah stuff didn't happen***

"Callie are you kidding me..." She goes on and on.

I can't focus on her words. She cheated on me. Those lips kissed someone else. Someone else saw her naked.

"Calliope?" She asks, snapping me out of my day dream.

"What?" I snap, venom in my voice the surprises both of us.

I watch as her face goes from concerned to stone. I can't even guess what she is think about.

"Nothing." She turns on her heal and goes to the bathroom.

I know she wanted to slam it, but Sofia is having a bad week, she was sick Monday and Tuesday so her sleeping schedule has been off all week. I sigh and go to our bedroom, getting some clothes.

"Are you sleeping at Mark's again?" She asks for the doorway behind me.

"Yeah."

I turn around. She is so beautiful. Her black shorts showing off her ass and her blue tank top bringing out her eyes.

"Callie." She sighs, walking over to where I am standing.

"Arizona. Don't." I warn, my gut clinching.

"Calliope" She whispers.

"No." I move past her, "You don't get to Calliope me. You cheated. You had sex with someone else. You let someone else touch you. You did that. Not me. So no. You don't get to Calliope me." I snap, "I'll be over in the morning." I add, walking out and over to Mark's... Once again.

* * *

><p>"Callie, you guys need to talk." Addison reasons through the phone.<p>

"If we talk I'm going to cry and then I'll wake Sofia up and we won't be able to talk anymore." I reason.

"Take her to Meredith's. Simple fix." Addison points out.

"Yeah but-"

"No. Now you are just trying to get out of it. Go find Grey and talk to her. ASAP Torres." Addison orders before the beep of my phone lets me know she hung up.

I sigh and put my phone back in my pocket and go off to find Meredith.

* * *

><p>"I've been looking all over for you." I sigh as I walk into OR two.<p>

"I've been here all day. What's up?" She asks glancing up at me from the child on her table.

"Sofia is going to stay with Grey tonight." I say.

"May I ask why?" She goes back to whatever she is doing.

God she's so beautiful.

"We need to talk." I mumble.

Her eyes shoot up, locking with mine.

"We do?"

Alex shifts uncomfortably as the air changes around us.

"I'll see you at home." I say, walking out.

Nobody needs to know anything but us.

* * *

><p>"Hey baby girl" I smile to my daughter as I walk into day care.<p>

"Hi Mami." She smiles up at me, some how she got Arizona's smile.

"Guess what is happening tonight?" I ask as I sit down next to her.

"Movie night?" She asks, her eyes lighting up.

"Close, you're having a sleep over at Zola's. I bet if you ask Uncle Derek really nice he'll let you watch a movie." I say with a smile.

"Okay Mami. Is Mama coming too?"

"No sweetheart, Mama is fixing a little boy right now. She won't be done until after you have left. I know she's sorry." I kiss the top of her dark locks.

"I wanna see Mama." She says, her dark eyes connecting with mine, tears in them.

"Okay baby. You can come and see her for a minute, but then you have to come back here and wait for Meredith or Derek, okay?" I give in, how could I not?

"Okay Mami." She smiles again.

"Okay lets go then." I say, standing up and taking her by the hand.

* * *

><p>"There she is Sof, you see her?" I ask, pointing down at her Mama.<p>

"Mama!" She yells, running forward to the glass.

I push the little button so that we can be heard.

"Hey someone wanted to see you." I say.

I watch as Arizona looks up, a sparkle grows in her eyes when she sees Sof.

"Hey pretty girl." She says.

"Hi Mama." Sofia presses against the glass, trying to see her mom even better.

"You're going over to Zola's tonight? That sounds like a lot of fun!" She says, her smile can't be hidden under the mask.

"Yeah. Mami says if I ask Uncle Derek nice he will let us watch movies." She explains.

I take a seat and watch them talk. Nobody could deny that they love each other. No one could say Arizona isn't a good mom.

I wait a few minutes before I step in.

"Sof we need to let Mama get back to work" I say gently.

"Okay Mami. Bye Mama. I love you." She says, kissing her hand then blowing it to Arizona.

"I love you too baby girl. Have fun tonight." Arizona replys.

If only it was that easy for us to say that.

I take Sofia's hand in mine and take her back down to day care.

* * *

><p>I'm pouring myself another glass of wine when I hear the door open. I sigh and pour another one for her. I take them to the living room to find her sitting on the couch rubbing her thigh.<p>

"Thanks." She whispers as I set down her glass in front of her.

She continues to rub her thigh, clearly in pain.

"Are you okay?" I ask, sitting down next to her.

"Yeah." She fake smiles at me, I can always tell when it's fake because her dimples don't come out, "I'm just sore."

"Mhm." I roll my eyes, doesn't she know I can tell when she's lying.

"What?" She questions, I guess she saw me roll my eyes.

"Nothing." I snap at her, she should get it.

"Calliope." She sighs.

I look at her, stopping her in her tracks. Whatever she was going to say lost, dead in her throat.

"I'm sorry." She mumbles, looking down at her hands the still rest on her lap.

"Sorry? What the hell am I suppost to do with sorry. I thought we were good! We had just gotten us back. I felt like we made it past the crash. Past the leg. Then you go and do this. You cheat on me. Are you getting back at me for what I did with Mark? We weren't together when I slept with Mark. He was there when you weren't. I was still here when you did this. I've never left." I snap, tears in my eyes.

"Callie please." She says, I can hear the sorrow in her voice.

"I put up with your abuse for months. I waited months for sex. I waited for you, yet she comes along, bats her eyes and you jump into bed with her. Was... Was it not good for you? What... What did I do?" I question, a few tears slipping.

"Callie it wasn't you. It was me. I was stupid. I just..."

"You just what?" I spit, my sadness turning to anger, "You know, if it was a guy I could understand a bit more. You see with a guy, you can just lay there and that be it, but with a woman... With a woman you have to be there for it. You have to be feeling her. Touching her. She has to touch you. She feels you places nobody... It's a two way thing. You decided to do it. You put effort into it." I say.

"Really Callie? You're saying it's worse because it's a girl? I have slept with a lot of girls Callie. So many I don't have to put the so called effort in it. I don't even remember it Callie! I did decide to do it. I won't argue that, but after I locked the door, I don't remember anything else. I didn't make love to her. I don't love her! It was just sex. Callie I will never do it again." She defends.

I look at her. Tears in her eyes. She did wrong.

Next thing I know I'm kissing her.

Not a little peck. No, I'm forcing my tongue in her mouth. I'm feeling her breasts through her shirt. I pull back just long enough to rid her of her top before going back to kissing her. I feel her hands on my hips, touching me, touching me like she touched someone else.

I grab her hands and force them behind her head.

"These stay." I order, glaring into her eyes, daring her to say anything.

She nods, eyes darken with lust.

I look over her body. Her abs move as she breaths. Her pale breasts fighting against the bra she has on. I slip a hand down her pants. Her hips arch to me, a reflex.

"So wet." I mumble as I slip a finger through her folds.

She moans, hips bucking for more.

I want to mark her, so she'll know she's mine. Nobody else can have her.

I bite her neck, more than enough to bruise, but not enough to break the skin.

"Shit." She mumbles.

I gently kiss the spot. I don't want to hurt her... That badly.

I plunge a finger into her core as I bite the other side of her neck.

"Callie"

That's right. You say my name.

I curl my finger, hitting that spot inside her that only I know.

"Calliope. Oh fuck." She arches into me.

I use my free hand to undo her bra while creating a rhythm inside of her. Her pink nipples are standing, waiting for me. Only me.

I take one in my mouth, sucking and twirling my tongue around it at the same time before I do the same to the other.

"That's gunna... It's gunna... Leave a mark." She chokes out as I go for another round with her beautiful breasts.

"I know." I mumble, adding another finger inside her.

"Callie..." She groans, her hips meeting my pace.

"I know."

She's about to. I graze my thumb over her clit and her body freezes, except for her core, which has my fingers trapped as she clinches and unclinches around me multiple times.

"Callie." She mumbles, reaching out to me.

I slip my hand out of her.

"Calliope?" She questions, her eyes finding mine.

I can feel the tears in my eyes.

"I... I'm sorry." I mumble, looking down as I run out of our apartment and to my dead best friends bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**NOTE: **_Takes place right after last chapter. Is it bad I cried while writing this?_

* * *

><p>I lay in bed alone.<p>

Let me clarify, I lay in my dead best friends bed, while my wife who cheated on me is in my bed.

I can't believe I just did that. I just had sex with her, I mauled her.

I just… I don't even know what happened. Something inside of me just snapped. It snapped and I had sex with her.

I can hear her crying.

God why do I do this to her? Why do I do this to myself?

"Calliope?"

I jump, looking to the voice.

She's in my room.

She's here, crying.

God she's beautiful, her eyes are red, her nose is pink, it makes her eyes pop. Crying makes her eyes turn a shade lighter anyways.

She moves into bed with me.

I move away, as if she is about to put a bug on me.

"Just," she hick ups, "please hold me. Just for tonight. Just please hold me," she whimpers.

I can't do this. I can't turn away. I just, I can't let her cry all alone.

"Okay," I whisper.

With that one word she rushes at me. She wraps her arms around my waist and burys her head into my shoulder.

I can feel her shake with tears, I can feel the wetness of her tears soaking my shirt.

I can't help it.

I wrap my arms around her, holding her close.

"You hate me. I'm so sorry I made you hate me," she mumbles.

I can feel my heart break, real pain in my chest.

"I don't hate you Arizona," I whisper before pressing a kiss to the side of her forehead.

"I hate me,"

The tears come faster and harder now. I don't know what to do. My wife, my strong Arizona who is always 'awesome' and perky isn't here anymore.

"I'm so sorry," she sobs into me, her grip tightening, as if it could take away all she's done.

"Shh, close your eyes baby," I whisper, running my fingers through her hair.

I wait for a long time, just running my fingers through her hair.

She's stopped crying. She's breathing normally.

I sigh, she's asleep.

"I love you," she whispers, turning her head and meeting my eyes.

I can't lie to her. I can't do it right now.

"I love you too," I whisper.

She nods, places a kiss on my neck then gets out of the bed.

She disappears without another word, back to our bed, leaving me alone once more.


	3. Chapter 3

**NOTE: **_Last one in this little storyline. I hope you liked it. I really think I understand Arizona and I try to make it where you can too. (I understand her when I write her, not always when Shonda does)_

_I do not know when I will be updating anything else, I'm in the reading mood. Anybody got any little prompts that I could write (Smut/Fluff)? Or any good one-shots I could read? _

_Now, on with the story._

* * *

><p>"You did what?" Addison yells through the phone.<p>

"I don't know. It just happened. She was talking and I just snapped," I tell her.

"Have you talked to her since then?"

I sigh,_ should I tell her_?

The decision is made for me when Arizona walks through the door; Mark's door.

"I have to go, I'll call you later," and with that I hang up on Addison.

I look at my wife. She's still my wife right? I mean we never really got married. I mean I feel like we are, well were, married. I don't know now. Should I ask her?

"Was that Addison?" she asks, blue eyes shining.

_I know that shade of blue. She has been crying._

"Yeah," I mumble, sitting down on Marks couch.

"I just talked to Teddy," she informs me, sitting down on the other end of the couch.

"About?"

_Oh god. Does she talk to Teddy about me? Does Teddy know about everything?_

"Callie we need to talk," she says, her eyes sending a wave down my spine.

"About what?" I ask, even though I know what she means.

"Calliope," she sighs, I can hear how tired she is.

"I don't know what that was last night Arizona. I just... I snapped. I'm sorry. It won't happen again," I say.

"That's not what I meant," she whispers, looking away.

I shake my head.

"Arizona,"

She shakes her head, turning to me, then she stands up, pacing.

"No. Callie we have to talk about this now. We can't put it off. We have to talk Callie. I need to have you talk to me," she looks at me, expecting me to do something.

I _blink_. _Once_. _Twice_.

"You **cheated**,"

It sounds so foreign. It couldn't have been me who said it. But it had to have been, it was my voice.

"**I cheated**," she says.

Pain shoots through me. _How could she have done that to me?_

"I cheated and I hurt you. I didn't mean to. Something just snapped. I told her no. I told her I was married. She just... She said I could lose a little bit of control, then I lost it all. I don't even remember it. I just snapped," Arizona explains.

I shake my head, "I was there for you. I put up with shit I didn't have to. You were so pissed you'd piss yourself before you'd let anybody help; even after you peed yourself you'd still fight me. I stayed because we are married and I love you. I loved the way your dimples pop out when you are frowning, the way you always smell like cotton candy even after a run, how you'd undress me with your eyes, how your eyes are lighter after you cry and darker when you're horny, how you go above and beyond for your patients. I love everything about you, but since the crash," I sigh, how should I put this?

"I don't know if you are who you were anymore. I never see your dimples, even when you are smiling. You don't look at me with that hunger. You just... I love you, but I don't know you. The Arizona I married would have never done this to me," I finally get it out and into the open.  
>I look at her, I can see the wheels in her head moving.<p>

"I **hate** me,"

The _emptiness_ in her eyes scares me.

"I **wish** I would have **died** instead of Mark or Lexie,"

The _truth_ in her voice is depressing.

"Arizona," I mumble, moving closer to the blonde.

"I shouldn't be here to hurt you like this. I wish I was dead. I... I know it's not a reason, and there is no reason for me to have hurt you like that. I just... I'm not me,"

Her eyes connect with mine once more, they are filled with tears. My heart aches for her. To hold her and make her feel better again.

"Arizona," I breathe.

"I just... I need you. I need you and Sofia. I have to live for Sofia. She can't lose another parent. I can't do that to her. I'm the reason her mom almost died when she was born-"

"That was not you fault," I interrupt.

She takes a deep breath, then continues.

"I need you two. You are what makes me live. Last night. Callie last night was the first night in awhile I've felt good. Then you left. You ran away. You ran because of me and I was left to think about it. Then I came in and asked you to hold me, and for some reason you did. I felt like me when you held me. I just... I just need you. You don't have to put up with me; I don't understand why you would put up with me. I still love you Calliope, but I just don't know how to show it when I can't even love myself,"

_So there it is._

_The truth._

_She hates herself so she takes it out on others. She hurts me to hurt herself. She just uses me for comfort and pain._

But last night...

Last night she broke, in my arms she _broke_ and rebuilt herself. I just wish she would let me in. _I just want to help her_. She needs to _love_ **herself** in order to _love_ **me** again.

"Calliope, I just needed you to know that. So you can go and pick Sofia up for Grey's now if you want to, but I had to get that off my chest before Sofia came home," she explains, then walks out of Marks apartment.

"Wait!" I call after her, she freezes at the doorway.

"Do you want to come with me to pick her up?" I question.

She looks at me, studying me then she nods.

"Okay, we can leave in about twenty minutes?" I ask.

"Yeah, fine by me," she agrees, then walks out the door and to our apartment.


End file.
